Don’t Take It Personally and Other CR*P

One piece of advice you get when you lose a job is “don’t take it personally.” This is a load of cr*p.

Hard driving, competitive, competent people like you and me always take it personally. Because we are pouring our hearts and souls and every ounce of energy we have into our jobs. In essence we have given our “person” to the work, and now we are being rejected, dismissed, and disrespected when we are fired. Of course we feel misunderstood and hurt.

“We did a talent review” is another difficult one. You want to scream, “And you found I have no talent?” Yikes! This one can burn you for weeks. Months.

Here’s an idea that I found very helpful. I was telling my sad story for the 12th time to a friend. She admitted that she’s been fired several times. She told me the secret to understanding this tough, tough event:

“It’s not about talent, effort or performance. It’s about alignment.”

While that may sound like another load of cr*p, stop for a minute and think about the word alignment. It means:

Harmony between employees and business decision-makers within the organization.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to be in harmony with decision makers who are unable to articulate their vision and values. It’s nearly impossible to fall into step with corporate objectives that are conflicting and unclear. It’s hard to fit in with coworkers, clients or audiences who hold a different world view than you do. Do any of these describe your last situation? Probably.

So, you were caught in the cross-fire. Collateral damage.

There’s nothing wrong with YOU. You were simply in the wrong place. Someone figured it out and asked you to leave.

How do you heal? Well, here’s a deceptively simple exercise that completely changed my perspective. I was riding to one of my 3 lunches and heard it on the radio—from a counselor. I call it the Job Search Energizer:

  1. Each day, for a week, write two sets of statements:

    I accept that…(I have been dismissed, I lost my job, I wasn’t right for the position, I made some political errors, etc.)And

    I am now willing to…(look into new opportunities, reconnect with old friends in the business, update my resume, look into a sales position, etc.)

  2. During week two, write only the “I am now willing to…” statements.

  3. For a solid month, continue writing “I am now willing to…” statements each morning. Use these as your goals or “to do” list for the day.
  4. Follow your instincts and take the actions that come up in your writing.

Write on the computer if you are a good typist. Write by hand if that suits you. The important thing is to write, write, write. When you read what you have written, you will internalize it and stop worrying about what steps to take.

Your new-found “I am now willing to…” statements, coming from your heart, become your bold, decisive action steps. Follow the ideas that come to mind. By speed writing, you are allowing your Higher Self to begin to guide you. You are engaging both creativity and intuition. You are feeling your way out of the dark place.

If this is a little vague for you, send me an email and I will send you my own Job Search Energizer. You will see how quickly you can transform your thoughts to more positive ones. If you are willing to share, send your own thoughts on this exercise. I would love to hear how it works for you.

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