I’d like to pick your brain

March 20, 2012 By

Really? Does that even sound nice? Your mother might tell you that’s something nice people don’t say at the dinner table. It’s also something you shouldn’t say when asking for a networking meeting.

Four other things you shouldn’t do:

  • Don’t assume you know anything about the person.
  • Don’t focus the conversation on you and your needs.
  • Don’t tell your sad story.
  • Don’t push your resume at them.

If you want to network your way to a job, you want to do it indirectly. Grabbing a coffee with an old friend and attacking it too hard makes you the pariah you hate being in the first place. Here’s a better way to approach it:

Ask gently to get together. You might say, “I’m in transition and I would like your advice.” Or “I’m sourcing job leads and I want to learn more about your job position.” Or, “I really admire you. I’d like to learn more about your career.” Make the conversation all about the other person. If you allow the other person to talk, you’ll win a friend and advocate.

Be ready with lots of questions. Do your homework and learn a little about the company. Ask about what’s going on in their industry segment. Ask about the person’s job: how long have they had it, how did they get the job, and what education and experience do they have. Finally, ask about their company: what’s the culture, do they like their boss, and to what department do they report.

You are looking for insider information. You want to find out the names of job titles that might be suitable for you. You want to know how the company is structured and how large your future department might be. You want to know who the hiring managers are, and whether they are great to work for. In short, you are looking for everything the job description doesn’t tell you.

Focus the conversation on the other person. As you do, imagine yourself in their role, in their company, in their industry. When you do occasionally turn the conversation back to you, ask: “Do you think my background might fit?” Listen carefully and ask: “What do you think is the best way to apply to your company?”

At the end of the conversation, tell the person clearly and simply what you are looking for – in 30 seconds or less. Answer their questions—if they are interested. Ask if you can send your resume by email. (Be ready to hand over one ONLY if they ask for it.)

Follow up with a thank-you email the same day. If there is a hot job in their company, send a second email with your resume. Make your cover message friendly, short and refer to your relationship. If you are lucky, this will be forwarded by your friend to HR or the hiring manager. When they do, it’s an implied endorsement.

Done right, you’ve gotten savvy about a job position, about a company, about a market segment. Even if it’s not the perfect fit for you. You got smarter.

And you got a clue.

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Wallowing in the Grief of a Job Loss

March 7, 2012 By

When my job loss first happened, I went silent for an hour or so.  Then I told my husband. Then, I called a close friend. Talking about it made me cry. It helped me source the anger I was feeling.

After telling my story to five or six close friends over the next week, I realized that the themes in my story were becoming more apparent:

  • I was angry that I had no chance to improve or change the situation.
  • I felt wrongly accused and judged.
  • I felt less-than, because I was singled out.
  • I was angry with myself because I had become so dependent on this   job for both my financial and emotional pay.

Each person I talked to brought me closer to the truth and to healing. Each person had a different perspective that made it all easier to understand. Here are some of the ideas they brought to me that helped:

“Everything happens for a reason.” Hearing this isn’t a lot of comfort. Weeks later, however, I realized that this job loss freed my time and schedule to take on some new exciting things. These volunteer activities are beginning to create some business opportunities. A job loss does open up time and energy.

“If you don’t get fired once in a while, you’re probably not doing a great job.” – Perhaps it’s OK to bring new ideas into the organization and occasionally push the organization in a little different direction. Perhaps your style or ideas just didn’t fit their model.

“You are the same person you were before this. They haven’t taken anything away from you.” Now, that was something to contemplate. Why did I feel so bereft when I had all my experience, talent and abilities, just as before? Probably because I was counting on that income, in the future. The job loss forced me to change and change quickly. It’s uncomfortable to be forced into a change.

“It’s not about talent or performance or effort, it’s about alignment.” I realized that I was a little “off” in my attitude and speech. I realized I really wanted to be in a place where I would be appreciated. A cactus can’t thrive in a swamp. It’s about finding the place that is a better match for you, your skills, your values, and your experience.

So, during the first few weeks after a job loss, I invite you to talk, talk, talk. As you bring your pain into dialogue, you are going to find friends and family who not only support you, but who can help you interpret what has happened and give you the keys to move forward.

Journaling is powerful, too. Give yourself permission to wallow a bit in your loss and grief. Write furiously about your loss. Write the thoughts you are afraid to say out loud. When you see the ideas on paper, you will likely see that you are dramatizing a bit. Then, print them out and burn them.

Wallow a bit in order to get over it all. When you are tired of your own story of woe, you know you are ready to put that energy into job seeking.

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Don’t Take It Personally and Other CR*P

February 29, 2012 By

One piece of advice you get when you lose a job is “don’t take it personally.” This is a load of cr*p.

Hard driving, competitive, competent people like you and me always take it personally. Because we are pouring our hearts and souls and every ounce of energy we have into our jobs. In essence we have given our “person” to the work, and now we are being rejected, dismissed, and disrespected when we are fired. Of course we feel misunderstood and hurt.

“We did a talent review” is another difficult one. You want to scream, “And you found I have no talent?” Yikes! This one can burn you for weeks. Months.

Here’s an idea that I found very helpful. I was telling my sad story for the 12th time to a friend. She admitted that she’s been fired several times. She told me the secret to understanding this tough, tough event:

“It’s not about talent, effort or performance. It’s about alignment.”

While that may sound like another load of cr*p, stop for a minute and think about the word alignment. It means:

Harmony between employees and business decision-makers within the organization.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to be in harmony with decision makers who are unable to articulate their vision and values. It’s nearly impossible to fall into step with corporate objectives that are conflicting and unclear. It’s hard to fit in with coworkers, clients or audiences who hold a different world view than you do. Do any of these describe your last situation? Probably.

So, you were caught in the cross-fire. Collateral damage.

There’s nothing wrong with YOU. You were simply in the wrong place. Someone figured it out and asked you to leave.

How do you heal? Well, here’s a deceptively simple exercise that completely changed my perspective. I was riding to one of my 3 lunches and heard it on the radio—from a counselor. I call it the Job Search Energizer:

  1. Each day, for a week, write two sets of statements:

    I accept that…(I have been dismissed, I lost my job, I wasn’t right for the position, I made some political errors, etc.)And

    I am now willing to…(look into new opportunities, reconnect with old friends in the business, update my resume, look into a sales position, etc.)

  2. During week two, write only the “I am now willing to…” statements.

  3. For a solid month, continue writing “I am now willing to…” statements each morning. Use these as your goals or “to do” list for the day.
  4. Follow your instincts and take the actions that come up in your writing.

Write on the computer if you are a good typist. Write by hand if that suits you. The important thing is to write, write, write. When you read what you have written, you will internalize it and stop worrying about what steps to take.

Your new-found “I am now willing to…” statements, coming from your heart, become your bold, decisive action steps. Follow the ideas that come to mind. By speed writing, you are allowing your Higher Self to begin to guide you. You are engaging both creativity and intuition. You are feeling your way out of the dark place.

If this is a little vague for you, send me an email and I will send you my own Job Search Energizer. You will see how quickly you can transform your thoughts to more positive ones. If you are willing to share, send your own thoughts on this exercise. I would love to hear how it works for you.

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I Got Fired

February 26, 2012 By

I got fired on January 4.

Well, you might not call it fired, but I would. I lost a major client relationship that had lasted for six years. I had become complacent. Then, with one phone call, I lost 60% of my income for 2012.

My business is helping people overcome the pain of job loss. But now that I’ve felt it personally, it was much harder than I expected. It hurt more. It immobilized me.

I was so hurt and distraught that it took me more than a week just to get the courage to go out to lunch with an old friend.

But get out I did. And, I’m happy to say that I am starting a new relationship, with a new client, today. It took about 5 networking events, 2 coffees, 3 lunches, 1 resume update, 2 interviews, and several sleepless nights.

I believe this happened for a reason and I would like to tell you about it.

In the coming weeks, I will detail how people I know helped me get some visibility and gave me the lead that turned into a new contract. All in 40 days. I am hoping that this experience will help those of you who are now suffering from a job loss. And those of you who feel stuck—stuck in a job you no longer like, but are afraid to leave. Both places are painful.

The way out is strategic, bold action. Thanks for reading. I’ll be back next week with specifics.

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Would You Like 3 Job Offers at Once?

September 13, 2011 By

Many of my clients receive 2, 3 or even 4 job offers in a 10-day period, after 4-8 weeks of serious job seeking. How could that possibly happen in this job market?

Well, it’s actually very simple. It’s a matter of campaigning for a job, creating momentum, and then bringing it all to a crescendo at the end—a beautiful finale that gives you choices and leverage to negotiate your best deal.

Here are some tips to make this happen in your job search:

[Read more...]

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Lack of Focus Will Kill Job Search

August 15, 2011 By

Professional career coaches agree that focus is critical in your job search. I am really proud and pleased to be quoted several times in this MSN CareerBuilder article:

“I’ll Take Anything”: Three Words That Will Kill Your Job Search,

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-2720-Job-Search-Ill-take-anything-Three-words-that-will-kill-your-job-search/?pf=true

 

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When NOT to Give Your Resume

July 15, 2011 By

One of my clients told me he was planning on meeting a former coworker for lunch. This could be a good chance to network into a new company, complete with a recommendation from a current employee.

“Should I give him my resume? I don’t feel it’s ready yet.”

The answer: NO! Where is it written that people can demand a resume, even if you feel you’re not yet ready? What if you are seeking a career change, but don’t yet know how to frame your experience? What if you have NO IDEA what to apply for? It’s better in these circumstances to hold back, focus on your research, refine the resume, and send it along a week or two later, when YOU are ready. Of course, you might miss out on a great job opportunity. Then again, you might have missed out because your resume wasn’t up to par, anyway.

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Getting Your Heart Set on a Job

May 13, 2011 By

Time and time again, I see job seekers who find the “perfect” job for them. Then, they lose the opportunity and feel they have to start all over again. They direct all their efforts toward that one job. Their hearts are set on it. Then, the job posting closes, they don’t get a call, and they lose before the race begins. To avoid this deflating feeling, you need to have many job prospects in play. For my clients, I recommend at least five. Here are some ideas, just in case you are “starting over” your job search after a disappointment:

1. Consider other jobs at the same company. It’s likely that the company has more than one open position if they are hiring. Apply for several others that fit your skills.

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Don’t Stop Job Seeking During this Holiday Season

December 4, 2010 By

Job seekers who keep at it are even more likely to be hired during the holiday season. Here are some reasons why:

There is less competition. You can be sure lots of your fellow job seekers are laying off during the last 60 days of the year. If you stick with it, you’ll make a great impression and have less competition.

HR Managers have year-end deadlines, too. The new year brings a new budget. Toward the end of the fiscal year, hiring managers may have a number of new positions to fill. They will be evaluated on whether they get the job done. You could be just the person they are looking for. So, don’t hesitate—send your resume, return phone calls, and ask for the interview.

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