It all began with a book and a definition. I read Repacking Your Bags, by Leider and Shapiro. They were a couple of recovering advertising people in Minnesota who decided to chuck their harried lifestyle for something different. Their definition of success stopped me cold:

Success is

living in a place you belong,

with people you love,

doing the right work,

on purpose.

Yes, their vision of success stopped me cold. I stopped running on the treadmill that was my life and considered something new. Soon, I felt inspired to make this vision of success a reality for myself.

Living in a place you belong: With today’s digital world, it’s crazy not to live in a city where you feel at home. If you are self-employed, you can work from any city on the planet. If you have a global or national responsibility, you can often telecommute from your own home office. Whenever I coach job seekers and they say, “I’d really like to live in _________,” I always say, “Go there. Become a part of the community. Find your passion there.” I learned about Austin back in the late 80’s and 90’s when my sister’s 3 children went to the University of Texas. I heard what the city had to offer and it thrilled me. For about 2 years I actively arranged my life so that a move was possible. I completed a 4-year stint as a Training Director, learning everything I could about how to be a freelance trainer. Once I had that experience, I felt ready to move and create my own business.

Live with people you love. Perhaps you’ve experienced the excitement, frustration and pain of a long distance relationship. Even if it works, it won’t for long. Someone has to move to make it whole. I extend that thought to my extended family relationships. When I moved to Austin, I timed it to be the same year my son graduated from college. My goal: grandbabies in Austin. Since I moved here, my personal circle of family has grown from 2 nieces, 2 spouses, and 1 nephew to a gaggle of 23 family members. I have 3 grandchildren here, and 1 more on the way. I LOVE being close to family. Living here, loving my family here, is a dream come true.

Doing the right work. Now, there’s a tough one. What in the world does “right work” look like? First, it’s important not to confuse work with a job. You can love your work and despise your job. Some people love their work activities, their clients and the results they create. Yet, they have circumstances that make the job unpleasant: overwhelming hours, a micro-managing boss, slacker coworkers, company policies they don’t like, etc. Right work, on the other hand, is pretty easy to spot. Right work fits your personality; it feels comfortable, it is challenging and meaningful to you.  Discovering your perfect work can be as easy as having several long conversations with a Career Coach. Talking about your experiences of the past can easily bring out what types of work activities feed your passion, build your confidence, and satisfy your soul. It’s not easy, but it’s a simple process that fulfills me. I’d love to do it with you.

Living on purpose. Do you feel great satisfaction when an event or project you’ve planned is complete? That feeling of satisfaction can be yours every day when you begin living life on purpose. When you know your purpose, choices are easier to make. It’s easier to say “no” to the things that don’t serve you, and “yes” to the things that do. For most of us, this means a shift in thinking. It means waking up to our lives and consciously choosing the ideas, media, events, experiences and people we allow into our lives.

I’m grateful that I found Leider and Shapiro’s book back in 1997.

I’m grateful to the wonderful friends and business associates I’ve made in Austin.

I’m grateful to my clients for sharing their career stories and their dreams with me.

Here’s to YOUR sweet success!

I appear confident because I am prepared. I take time to think about my audience, write my presentation, read over my notes, dress carefully, get myself excited about the opportunity, pack my bag, and show up on time.

You can do the same thing. Yes, you can ACT AS IF you are confident, and you will be. Here’s how:

Choose to believe the evidence of success. You have had a long, successful career. You were in command of your own role, each day solving numerous problems and fighting for excellent results. If you take all the success—thousands of days of working steadily and saving situations–and weigh those against the few times when you slipped, dropped the ball, or didn’t follow through, you will see that you are a person who is wildly successful. Think back on your successes–and choose to believe in yourself.

Believe in this job, this opportunity, this day. We understand the Zen philosophy of staying in the present. Yet, our logical minds are always there to criticize and provide the other point of view. We somehow think, “If I’m logical, I have to consider that this might not work out.” Instead of allowing ourselves to believe “This is my job;” or, “This is the opportunity that will work out,” we believe the opposite in the name of realism. Both beliefs are completely valid. Which one do you choose?

Allow others to believe in you. We often resist compliments because we are told at an early age, “Don’t get a big head.” Most adults can’t even let in the simplest compliment. “That was very well said.” “You look sharp in that suit.” “Your new hairstyle is very becoming.” We are often surrounded by supporters, yet we don’t let their compliments saturate our souls.

Befriend yourself. Before a big event, a job interview, or even an important phone call, be a friend to yourself. Encourage yourself with positive thoughts. I like to call myself Cathy because that is the name I heard as a child. I often talk to my younger self, sweetly, as my mother used to: “You’re going to be fine, Cathy. They are going to love you, Cathy. You are going to shine.” This pep talk may sound foolish, but it works on my psyche and comforts me at a deep level. Try it.

Work a little harder to see the positive. Have you ever noticed that someone in a meeting always takes the role of the pessimist, the risk avoider, the naysayer? Have you ever wanted to strangle that person? I often think–”Wow, what an obvious observation. How long did that take to think up?” It takes more energy and power to create a positive, uplifting, creative idea than a cautionary comment. Work a little harder to see how things could work out. Bring the negative naysayer into your office and fire him!

Prepare as if you plan to win. Our negative conditioning can also be an excuse NOT to work through a situation and prepare well for a positive outcome. Instead of spending our energy working, we spend it worrying. Which do you choose? Preparation is hard work. You may have to get creative, think about all the circumstances, issues and arguments. Author Sue Grafton wrote, “Thinking is hard work, which is why you don’t see many people doing it.” Be the person who thinks about success, and plans how to achieve it.

Next time, I’ll give you a fool-proof way to prepare for a job interview.

Why is it important to say ‘No’ sometimes?

Requests can take us off task. Often, after we have set our priorities, we are asked to perform another task that might or might not be related to our priorities. Be sure that your assignments are appropriate for your job, your experience and your available time.

Someone else might be better for the job, and would benefit by doing it. If you are extremely valued at work, you may be asked to do too much because of your reputation. You might be hoarding all that work when the company or organization would truly benefit from someone else doing it. (Think about that the next time you leave work at 9:00 PM.)

You could easily be overwhelmed and fail. Time is the one commodity that we can’t expand or extend. You get the same 168 hours each week as anyone else. Doing too much often limits our effectiveness. Overworking takes the joy out of life. In extreme cases, it can destroy your personal relationships and your health. Spend some quiet time each week planning what your priorities are, so you have a good sense of how much is too much.

Saying ‘Yes” often means leading. If you are the first to say ‘Yes,’ you will often be put in charge of the project. If you haven’t led a project like this, you might want to ask for a smaller role. You can easily say ‘Yes’ with conditions. This will allow you to gain some experience, without taking on the full burden.

How Can I Say ‘No’ and Keep My Job?

Done right, you can say ‘No’ and actually win friends. Sometimes you can negotiate something a little different than the original request. Here is the process:

Listen to the task description completely. Don’t interrupt to talk about your schedule. Look thoughtful. Invite the person to sit down. Say, “Sounds interesting, let’s talk some more.”

Say something positive. Start by indicating that you are willing, even if you are not able at this time. Without saying ‘Yes’ to the task, indicate your overall willingness. Say something like, “I’m so pleased that you thought of me. I would be happy to help on this, but I would like to know more.”

Ask lots of questions. This step is critical, and most people forget it. Ask lots of questions so that you will uncover the real commitment of this request. Is this a one-hour task, a one-month assignment, or a one-year project? What is your role to be? Who else will be working on this? When is the deadline? What resources will you have? Etc, etc. This step also gives you some time to THINK. If you must say ‘No,’ it gives you time to create your reason.

Tell your current circumstances. You might mention the relevant work that is consuming your time right now. Don’t give too many details; you will sound as if you are whining. If the request is in your personal life, you might say, “I’ve just moved and I’m spending all my free time unpacking right now.” Don’t tell a long story. One good excuse is much better than three or four. You will sound more powerful with a simple statement.

Talk about alternatives. Make some suggestions that don’t include you. Perhaps you can recommend someone else to do the work. You might negotiate a smaller role than the one requested. Perhaps this task can be deferred until another time, or eliminated because of another solution.

Give a clear answer. Don’t ever say ‘I’ll try.” As Yoda said in Star Wars, “There is no try. Only do or not do.” If you need time to think about it, say, “I’ll consider this and call you tomorrow.” Then, honor your word. Chances are, you requestor can move to the next person on the list.

If the answer is ‘Yes,” be sure to repeat exactly what you are agreeing to do: “So I understand that I am to be a quality check on the XZY Committee, and this will require just 2-3 hours per week starting next Tuesday.”

Saying ‘No’ can help you stay on track, and create more time to be successful in any venture. When you do it well, you can actually build relationships. If nothing else, it is a chance to practice integrity – keeping your word completely.

The best bet for Targeted Networking is a professional association meeting. There are literally thousands of associations, for nearly every job on the planet. If you are unaware of an appropriate association near you, just Google your job title and the word “association.” Here are some results I got this morning:

Property Manager — NARPM, National Association of Residential Property Managers
Project Manager–PMI, Project Management Institute
Systems Engineer–INCOSE, International Council on Systems Engineering
Fund Raiser–AFPNET, Association of Fund-raising Professionals
Sales–NASP, National Association of Sales Professionals

All that to say, it takes about 15 seconds to find your professional association and its local chapter! The first step is to make a commitment to the very next meeting. Put it on your calendar, register and pay for the meeting. It’s the best money you will ever spend!

I believe people feel foolish going to a new meeting because they have no idea what they are trying to accomplish. They fear looking like an intruder, a NON-member. They worry about “bothering” people, people who have jobs and busy lives.

Here are some ways to rethink networking among your peers at an association meeting:

1. Come early and stay late. The best networking happens before the meal and after the speaker. To get the most out of your investment, be one of the first to arrive and plan to stay 30 minutes after the program ends.
2. See everyone as a possible key to your success. We want to be efficient and only meet important people. But you are looking for new ideas, job leads, industry news and company information, which anyone in the room can provide. Your cohorts are actually more willing and able to advise you than those “hiring managers,” VPs, and other company dignitaries.
3. Set a goal to have 3 significant conversations. There’s no way you can make an impact on everyone in the room. However, you can have a great conversation with the people at your table. Introduce yourself to everyone. Share business cards only AFTER you have exchanged pleasantries. Just ask, “Do you have a business card with you?” If not, write down the name, email and phone number. Then, provide you card.
4. Focus on others and gather job intelligence. Ask people where they work, how long they’ve been there, and what they like about their jobs. Ask what changes they are currently experiencing. Try to understand the person’s job title, the department, and how it relates to the rest of the company. You are collecting valuable organizational information that you would never find on the web. You are hearing about company culture from experts, people who actually work there.
5. Customize your Elevator Pitch to the person. After a while, the other person is going to ask about you. Respond with two sentences, one about your past and one about the future. “I’ve been a project manager for 12 years, working mostly with IT integrations. I’m looking for an opportunity in a company that _________________.” In the blank, you insert information you have just learned–something about the industry, the product line or the person’s functional specialty.
6. Allow serendipity and coincidences. The universe is an amazing place, and you are a powerful attractor of what you want. You will be amazed how that random person you have just met knows about a job opening that would be right for you. Allow the information in. Don’t dismiss any lead, no matter how remote. Remember, where there is one opportunity, there are more. It’s your job to see possibilities all around you.
7. Ask for a follow-up meeting. You can’t expect to get in-depth information between the salad and the entrée. Ask the person if they would be willing to have a follow-up coffee or phone conversation. Ask if they can refer you to someone they know. If they give you a name, be sure to email and call that individual. Copy the referrer so that they know you appreciate the connection.
8. Add everyone to your network. When you get back to your computer, write an email of thanks, referring to something that was said in the conversation “I really appreciate your insights regarding Agile methodologies.” Save the person’s name in your email system. Look up the person on LinkedIn and invite them to connect. Invite people they know to connect with you. “I just met Joe Blow at the XXXX association meeting. I’d like to connect with you, too.” This way, you can turn 3 new contacts into 12 or even 24.
9. Rinse and repeat. Next month, do this again. By month 3, you are likely to be a volunteer for the organization. By month 6, you could be an officer. If you are committed to that job function, you will likely never be unemployed for long again. Why? Because your network of cohorts is there to provide you with job leads any time you need them. Your fellow professionals become your career safety net.

Lastly, enjoy the process. Targeted networking is the most fun you can have when you’re in the job hunt.

This simple act of friendship, the very human act of visiting, becomes a big deal. And it is. Because it works.

Meeting face-to-face with another business professional is the BEST way of beginning a long-term relationship. It is the best way to learn about jobs BEFORE they are advertised, when they are just a glimmer in the eye of the hiring manager. I call it the Career Conversation™ because it’s the best way to expand your knowledge about careers, and energize your job search.

Meeting with other job seekers is just as powerful as meeting with the employed. Remember, they lost their jobs–not their minds. They have relevant information to share!

Here are some tips to help make face time more powerful:

1. Don’t overthink it. Sometimes you can be too purposeful, and have too much agenda. Let yourself have coffee with interesting people who appeal to you. Every person you meet can provide a piece of the puzzle. Even if you walk away thinking, “That job wouldn’t work for me!” you have spent your time well.
2. Do a little research. After a business card exchange with a new acquaintance, look them up on LinkedIn. Invite them to connect. Read their profile, and look at the website of their employer–current or immediate past.
3. Be on time and gracious. If you suggested the meeting, it’s nice to buy the drinks. You are going to get much more than the $8.00 you spent. By giving something upfront, you are creating an energy vacuum that your guest will want to fill with help for you.
4. Focus on the other person. Ask about their background and education. Ask how they got the job lead that led to their current work. Ask what they like about their job, and what frustrates them. Ask about company structure: who they report to, what departments and clients they interact with. Try to get a picture of the company organization and how you might fit in.
5. Recognize a job lead when you hear one. A lead can be as simple as, “We are so slammed right now!” You can follow up by asking, “Does the company typically hire contract workers in this situation?” or “What type of staff might be helpful?” Get the NAMES of departments, managers, staffing firms, etc. Only an insider can provide these. And they are gold.
6. Practice on peers. Don’t have your first Career Conversation with the Vice President of Marketing. Meet, instead, with the person who just lost her job as Marketing Coordinator. She is going to tell you what is really going on, AND you can help her with your own knowledge.
7. Focus on job positions, industry information and company insights. Imagine yourself in a new job position. Learn all you can to see if there’s a fit. The industry information can help you target companies you haven’t considered before. An insider’s view of a company culture can help you decide if that’s the right place for you. Listen for ideas, and reciprocate with your own. Brainstorm on ways you can help each other.
8. Ask for help. After about 40 minutes, tell your career goals, and ask for help. “I’m making a switch to Project Management and would appreciate any leads you can provide about jobs inside your company.”
9. Just do it. Meeting with a new business contact is inspiring, enlightening and FUN. Haven’t you been alone, in front of your computer, long enough? Get out there and network!

They WANT you. THEY want you. They want YOU.

It’s the right company, the right job, and they want YOU. You are about 80% home already!

When this happens, it’s likely that LinkedIn played a role. LinkedIn is a miracle of modern technology. It has become the best friend a job seeker ever had. Whether you are a rookie or an expert, you can enhance your search by increasing your activity today.

Not looking right now? Well, unless you plan to retire from your current job in the next few months, you WILL need LinkedIn. Now is the time to dig your well, before you’re thirsty.

Here are some simple ways to build your presence and be found on LinkedIn.

1. Update your Profile. Be direct, clear and self-promoting. Use the “headline” to describe your expertise. If you are actively seeking, consider putting the word “seeking” into your job title. Instead of just your name, consider using something like John Smith, Seeking Software Sales Position. Smart recruiters will even search on the word “seeking” and having it in your profile will bring attention–and hopefully results.
2. Join up to 25 groups. Being a group member is powerful, because you can invite anyone in the group to link with you. Choose groups that align with your job function (marketing, nursing, sales, business development, engineering), with your industry (software, hardware, healthcare), of with your subject matter expertise (long-term care, battery design, public speaking, personal injury). Then, set your preferences so that you track discussions, daily or weekly. Make substantive, relevant points. Add to the conversation. Invite thought leaders to link with you.
3. Increase your contacts to 500+. Each new connection links you to 9,000 more people, 6,000 more companies and 130 more industries! A client of mine had 250 contacts in December. Just 4 weeks later, he was up to 500+. At this level, you have access to millions of people. When you search on LinkedIn, your results are magnified exponentially. Start with the groups you belong to. Send messages to start a conversation. It can be as simple as, “Are you planning to go to the X conference next week?” My client found that only 3% answered his question, but 100% linked with him.
4. Write an update twice each week. Find something in your resume that you can report out in the form an update. It keeps your name in front of your network constantly. It should be timely and relate to your skills. For example: “Eager to attend the forum on corporate giving sponsored by the Austin Association of Fund Raising Professionals.”
5. Follow companies you’d like to work for. You’ll find a wealth of information on the company tabs. “Recent Updates” gives you news, “Careers” has job listings, “Insights” tells you about job changes, promotions and possible vacancies. “Recent Departures” tell you who are leaving and where they are going. Look at “People Also Viewed” to discover similar companies to follow.

Of course, this just scratches the surface. Check out your local community classes to learn more about LinkedIn. Like the internet, it’s organic, and growing. It’s changing and becoming a better resource every day. Be a part of it. Benefit from this miracle of technology!

We worry too much about missteps in our Job Search instead of constantly thinking about new steps. We often get stuck in a cycle of self-critique. Instead, we need to reach out for new ideas, new avenues, and new channels to market our skills effectively. What does this mean for Job Seekers?

You can determine TODAY to begin your job Search anew, and do it better than ever before. Here are six basics to help you.

1. Vow to use LinkedIn as your number one job seeking tool. Surveys show that 92% of employers are using LinkedIn in their recruiting and hiring process. If the recruiters don’t actively seek candidates through LinkedIn, then they at least check the profile as part of the screening process. Whether you are a rookie or an expert, any activity on LinkedIn will help you.
2. Create a list of 20 business friends and make them your Board of Advisors. Keep them updated on your job search techniques and ask for their ideas. Even if you get just 2 responses from each of your messages, you will have a dialog started. And, you have 20 people who are thinking about you. One of them will send you that all-important job lead.
3. Work job leads aggressively. The average sales lead is hot for 48 hours. That’s why great salespeople always call you within 2 days to get your decision. Social Media and the Internet have speeded things up – especially in the job world. When you hear about an open position, move on it today, this hour, even this minute.
4. Schedule 2 face-to-face meetings each week. Why? Because great ideas come out of conversation with other people. Face-to-face meetings are special in today’s world, and this is a chance to really get to know another person. Start with other job seekers, and then proceed with people they recommend to you.
5. Make a habit of attending a Job Club. These free resources provide a week-by-week education in job seeking. As you learn, you will refine your techniques. Stories of others’ success will motivate you. If nothing else, you might say to yourself, “If he can do it, so can I.”
6. Find a professional meeting in your field and attend it, this month. Let’s say your field is fund raising. I just googled “fund raising professionals Austin.” I found a meeting in January, with a panel of experts, from important non-profits in our community. There are at least 4 organizations named – and the search took 15 seconds. Professional meetings are absolutely your best, most targeted networking opportunities.

During the coming weeks, I will tell you specifically how to more effectively use each of these tools. If you are looking for a plan to Begin Again, look no further. I promise you, each of the steps above with generate some results for you.

There’s a great new opportunity in 2013 with YOUR name on it. Go out and claim it.

It’s as if there is some great assignment that I should have completed–and did not. I sum up the results in my business, and wish there were more. I think about the people in my life, and wish we had more time together. I wrap the gifts I have purchased and wish I had given this whole gift-giving thing more thought and time.

The end of anything naturally brings feelings of judgment and review. What is really called for is the gift of appreciating what has been accomplished, said, given, produced and LOVED during the last 12 months.

I invite you to remember all the good things you have done in the last year, and give yourself the most important gift of all–satisfaction with your life.

A little review before the final:

Who have you helped this year? Many of us are informal counselors at work, in our families or with friends. Chances are you have given advice hundreds of times this year, helping others who were looking for ideas, validation or direction. Think about the good you’ve done and the ripple of positive energy that you sent out into the world.

What have you accomplished? All of us have work that produces an effect. In my world, I create speeches, workshops, resumes and Job Search Plans. In your world, it might be creating a circuit design, a service plan or a contract. You might be a homemaker–cooking, cleaning, shopping and making a life for your family. Or, you might be a care giver, helping a loved one with everyday living and health care choices. You could be a mom or dad, helping with homework, supporting your children in their studies, sports or social experiences. All of those actions count. Whatever your work, it is important to the world.

How have you changed? Each year, we start with resolutions about how we are going to transform our lives. Perhaps you took up meditation or jogging. Maybe you changed your diet or cut back on your alcohol. Perhaps you finally lost that 15 pounds, or you started going to church. Or, maybe you read more books this year than ever before. Take time to notice how you have transformed your life in positive ways this year.

How have you loved? Are you a better listener? Are your conversations with your loved ones more real? Are you calling your mother more often, or making time to see family members when you didn’t before? Are you saying yes to meetings with other job seekers? Did you visit people in the hospital, attend funerals and go to birthday parties? Did you make time to hug your spouse? Did you say “I love you” every day?

Rather than look at our bank accounts, we need to take stock of our emotional bank accounts. When you think of 2012, how well have you lived? Now, while you are thinking about this, give yourself a big hug.

You are more than you were 12 months ago. You are a better person. Enjoy that this Holiday Season!

If you are like me, you would rather forget the recipes and be served. Instead, the world contrives to serve up this recipe for Holiday Funk:

• Start with 6 cups Christmas gift-giving and concerns like “Is she 1X or extra-large?” “Does he really like blue?” and “Is that shirt too blue?”
• Add in 4 cups of Unemployment Benefits about to expire. Or, substitute Job Dissatisfaction.
• Stir in some 5 cups of financial pressure.
• Topping: A New Year that’s a blank page. Lots of potential, but no real plan.

Are you feeling the pain yet? If this recipe puts you in a funk, here are a few ideas to help:

Take up meditation, NOW. You know you’ve heard it from all your meditating friends: “It really makes a difference in peace of mind, calmness and even in day-to-day feelings of health.” All it takes is 10 minutes of quiet time each morning. Google meditation and buy a simple tape to get you started. You can even gift this to men, women and teenagers–there’s a gift-giving suggestion that’s truly one-size-fits-all!

Thank all the people who made this past year a success for you. Instead of just signing holiday cards, write what you appreciate about that person. The happiness you spread will come right back to you. You will be amazed how much it lifts your spirits to acknowledge people who have contributed to your life. In the process, you’ll also remember you are not alone. We are all connected.

Plan, plan, plan your gift-giving. Make a list. Start organizing and create a budget so that you don’t overspend because you are worried about “getting the perfect thing.” The perfect gift is an illusion. A nice gesture is easy to achieve.

Set your limits. Four hours of dinner-plus-gift-opening is almost too much stimulation for those grandkids–and their grandparents! I know my limit is about 3.5 hours. Have a great time, but know when to close the party down. If you can’t leave, say goodnight and go to bed. Your guests will know what to do.

Sleep as much as you can. There’s a lot of extra work with the holidays. Give your body a chance to recuperate from those extra hours of tree-trimming, house decorating, shopping, baking or wrapping. If you feel tired at 8:00 PM, go down for a “long winter’s nap.”

Spend extra time alone. Think about what you want for the New Year. Write a Vision for your life next year. Then pull out three to five main goals to focus on. I like to choose one for each of these areas: health, finances, relationships and business.

If you’d like a copy of my Vision for 2013, plus some sample goals, just email me. Once you see the format, you’ll see it’s easy to plan your way out of the Holiday Funk.